I just finished Toni Blake's "Letters to a Secret Lover", and the main character, Lindsey, got me thinking about something (this seems to happen a lot). Lindsey writes a popular advice column for lovers, and her blog gets a lot of traffic. Her personal life is fairly public, and that is of her own choice as she posts information and revealing tidbits about fashion and her upcoming wedding. Things get ugly when a revealing picture is taken of her and her fiance' in the middle of a fight and ends up on the internet. This signals the end of her engagement. She decides she's not qualified to give love advice, and takes an indefinite break from her blog.
Other stuff happens later in the book that has her feeling confident enough to go back to her column, and to revealing a lot about what's currently going on in her personal life. She also reveals a lot of personal information about the man she's involved with, things that eventually come back to haunt them both.
My question today is this: how much is too much? I guess because I blog, this topic really hit home for me. I don't reveal a lot of stuff about my personal life (ahem, I tend to talk more about my friends' dramas than my own but I do try to keep names out of it) because I'm just not that kind of person. But there are bloggers out there with spouses/boyfriends/partners that share parts of their personal lives that make me wonder how the other person feels about that stuff out there floating in cyberspace.
I know that some of the bloggers that do that have spouses, etc. who know about the blogging and occasionally add their own input to posts. That's cool. I don't have a problem with that. I just wonder about the ones that reveal a lot of ultra personal information about their sex lives or their families or where they live and/or work. Think about it: you really don't know who might be reading your blog. In LTASL, it turns out that Lindsey had at least one fan that was a little too caught up in her life. In her case, it turned out to be a dangerous situation. And while some of us (okay, just me *g*) aren't anywhere near that popular, I still post pictures occasionally of what I look like, or what some of my online friends look like.
It's a strange thing, the intimacy of the internet. It lulls you into this sense of security that makes you feel safe and surrounded by friends. You share. You reach out to people. You have fun and learn things and sometimes if you're really lucky, you get to meet those online friends in person that you have a connection with. It can be a really special thing.
Do you think you share too much?
Where do you draw the line?
Ever post anything you later regretted?
posted by Stacy~ at 7/18/2008 05:08:00 AM
Do you think you share too much?
bySometimes I wonder if I do. I mentioned my sons but it was a while before I revealed their names - and I still don't mention them that much. I've mentioned my sisters names but they know that because the read my blog on occasion - my sons don't *g*
Where do you draw the line?
I'll never mention where I work. Although I adore working there, still it passes a line I've got in my mind. I don't like mentioning the exact city I live in - though I have on occasion, or my last name. When I first got on line it never occurred to me to do it under a different name so at times I'm worried that I've revealed too much. I don't mention my friends by their real names - because it seems an invasion of their privacy.
Ever post anything you later regretted?
LOL - yes. I did one once on my underwear. I kind of winced after that one but left it anyway. And my latest one where I referred to my puppies as hound dogs.
And while I can't say I regret it, it was very cathartic and was a way of getting through, I wondered about whether I should have blogged about Ron's illness and death. He was such a private person I'm not sure what he would have thought about all the blogging I did about him - but I just couldn't not do it. It was how I coped.
I read LTASL and was struck by the same thing you were too - since I blog too. And my feelings are the same as yours about meeting friends and being part of a great community. But in the back of my mind, I wonder sometimes who I don't know, who might be a bit strange reading some of the more personal stuff.
Hmmm... well I just shared tomorrows' knickers so :)
byI am careful about what I say b/c of the kids. I think you can say the wrong thing and get hammered for it. As an author I guess I try to be circumspect, I always respect other people's POV but I find on the internet other people don't always respect mine.
But I have made some wonderful friends who I share everything with so...
I try to be careful, and I try not to post pictures of my kids. I did once of my older son and I regret that I did it.
byDo you think you share too much?
byNo. Sometimes I think I should be a bit more open about myself but I'm not comfortable with that.
Where do you draw the line?
No (real) names, nothing about friends that could be linked to them, nothing about the city where I live, nothing about my profession: I try to keep my blog pretty free of personal things.
Ever post anything you later regretted?
Occasionally.
Thank you for your comments. I do wonder sometimes about revealing too much as to where I live, things like that.
byKristie, having read your blog for awhile now, I feel that you blogged about Ron because you needed to, and there's something very freeing and cathartic about that. Sometimes we need to share instead of bottling it all in. and it obviously helped you to cope in a lot of ways.
Toni & Lori, I respect that you want to keep your children's names out of it and protect them. I wouldn't expect anything less out of a good parent.
Taja, I'm not one to share a lot about myself either, so I kinda know where you're coming from. And I've still managed to post some things I regret. Oh well, live and learn I guess...
Sometimes I wonder if I share too much on my blog. I try really hard to find a good balance between TMI and JEI (just enough information), because blogging for me is a release, a way to let out all the pent up things inside of me.
byI try to keep things as anon as possible, though, and I don't share things about friends/family that could potentially hurt them. I also change names and/or places.
One thing I'm always cautious about is my children. I don't post pictures of them online, or even their names. I also try very hard to keep where I live off the net, because you just never know what kind of freaks are out there.
MM reads my blog, and sometimes he'll groan and say, "OMG! I can't believe you said that!" but I don't think I've ever gone too far.
maybe you should tell me. LOL
Holly, I don't think you've shared anything that's "too much" *g* I've always noticed you're very careful with your kids, and I think that's cool. And I loved hearing about your proposal and wedding and all those fun details about you and MM. You have such a way of sharing your life. I love that :)
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