Recently I read a book - the first in a series - and about half-way or so, there's a scene where our heroine watches a man she is strongly attracted to having sex with another woman. She catches them going at it accidentally, but instead of booking it out of there, she stands there, unable to look away, almost fascinated with what she is seeing. Now I've read scenes like this before, usually when it entails the heroine first "meeting" the hero when she sees him having sex with another woman, so at that point, they don't know each other, and it's not cheating, and there are no feelings involved. I'm good with that. However in this book, while our heroine and this guy are not actually involved (in fact she rejected his advances), there is a strong indication that at that point, she has feelings for him and he may be her lobster in the end.
I don't consider this to be cheating in any way, because as I said, the heroine rejected his advances, so of course he's able to go off and do whatever, or whomever, he wishes. But my squicky feeling is about having the heroine watch the hot guy with another woman. It's not an erotic romance, and it's also told in first person, so we actually know what she's thinking while she's watching this. She seems to be totally okay with it. Fine lady, be that way.
Me on the other hand, well, maybe it's that green-eyed monster making a special appearance, but I'm not digging it. I'm rather a possessive sort, and the idea of standing in the heroine's shoes and seeing what she's seeing - a guy I might have strong feelings for getting down and dirty with another woman - well, I'm not taking that well. Not at all. There are some scenarios I'm complete fine with, but this is not one of them.
I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting. I'm making it too much about me, and it's just a story. Besides, the guy does notice her watching, and later they sort of have a conversation about it. Clearing the air, so to speak.
How do you feel about the hero or heroine watching
their potential love interest gettin' busy with
someone else? (outside of an erotic romance)
Are you a green-eyed monster too, or am I just a
righteous prude?
posted by Stacy~ at 9/17/2009 07:14:00 AM
Visiting your blog
byI think I there are a couple places that I could use his actions for justifiable homicide. Does that answer your question?
byPakKaramu, thanks for stopping by :)
bySewicked, yes, I think that definitely does answer my question. So glad I'm not alone *g*
**Raising hand... to being a green eyed monster too**
byI would not be able to stand there to watch him with another woman... no matter the status of the relationship. Agreeing with Sewicked... Justifiable Homicide! Not only would I be a green eyed monster, I would be seeing red! And there would be no conversation we could have that would settle my feathers!
Glad I am not alone too!
Hope you have a great day Stacy!
Oooh, I wouldn't like that!! I would hate it!! But maybe it would make me wake up and grab him for myself! (But, not at the same time as the other gal!)
byYou are not alone. Another green-eyed monster here too.
byHm. It depends for me. Was she watching because it turned her on? Or because she'd never seen sex before? Or was she fozen with shock?
byI think it depends. Would it work for me personally? No probably not. But an good author can sell me on most anything. So...I don't know.
Hi Stacy,
byI'm not a big fan of watching. I don't mind if the hero or heroine are with someone before they are together. I just don't want a lot of details.
You are not a prude!!
Happy Reading!!
AS it's been sais already, I'm not a fan of this because if she's diggin on him in the least and it's not erotic, then I don't think it's sexy BUT there are those out there who find this exciting. I think i'm torn on this too. He is free to do his thing, but unless she's been mean in her rejection, I don't think he should be with another woman. Hmmmmm....
byI see most of us think alike. Cool LOL.
byKati, the heroine wasn't an innocent, nor was she shocked, and she "unwillingly" felt turned on by what she was seeing. Don't know if that helps. I think the scene was written well, but my G-EM took over and I couldn't be objective about it.
Now if this is in the beginning of the novel, I wouldn't be too upset about it. But if the hero is romancing the heroine and he then goes to relieve his lust for her without another woman, and the heroine sees him engaged in sex, if I were her, I would walk away and find a new suitor.
byHonestly, I find nothing sexy about this scenario. Watching another man I am attracted to having sex with another woman is not my idea of a fun time.
Let me think about this book. I assume it is a historical romance? And the hero is the Wilt Chamberlain of the ton?
In a typical romance novel, this would bother me a lot. But even as I was thinking that, I remembered an exception -- UNDEAD AND UNWED by MaryJanice Davidson. It has a scene similar to what you describe (except he's with three women) and I wasn't bothered by it at all.
byMaybe it's because there was no promise between them yet (and in most romances, by that point in the story, the characters would have at least begun to focus on each other) or maybe it's because the first time I read it, it was still at Ellora's Cave, where my expectations are slightly different. Or maybe it was just the light tone of the book.
So although most of the time it would be a deal-breaker for me (and I think it would be if the heroine was ever *hurt* by it) I can't say that it always is.
I'm not going for that. I can understand if it is shock and it takes her a moment to compose herself before walking away, but just to stand there and watch..I don't know.
byIn Tanner's Scheme by Lora Leigh, Tanner watched Scheme, the woman he was attracted to, have sex with other men for years. Considering the depth of his attraction for the woman, I just couldn't get my mind on him not being possessive of her being intimate with other men.
byAs for me, whether he's my man or I'm checking him out as man-to-be I wouldn't want to see him looking at another woman much less doing the woman!
oh my gosh, this exact same thing happened to me too! in a lot of the older romances i felt like it was more common for Heroes to "have relations" with women besides the Heroine and I didn't like it, but accepted it since that was just The Way Romance Novels Were back then.
bybut nowadays i don't expect it and don't like it since i know we can do better! this just happened in Her Every Pleasure by Gaelen Foley, a new release this year! made me very angry.
I have seen that scenario in a book and didn't like it. I almost felt like not finishing the book because I lost some respect for the heroine at that point. No little talk would have made things all better. By now you know you are not alone, just add me to the list of green-eyed monsters.
byI don't understand why the heroine would torture herself like that. Yes I would be a green-eyed monster if I were her, for that woman I am watching should have been me! I would be one tormented woman. And no you're not a prude!
byMy yuk factor kicks in!
bylol
byYou are so not a rightous prude Stacy!
If this is a woman catching her man in the act then I would be so turned off. I think it depends on "how far", the couple goes in the scene if you get my drift. Especially in a contemp.
I don't know, for me, it really depends on the story I guess and the way the scene is written in.
Maybe I'm a skank? lol
Hey Stacy, I am with Sewicked on this! To think he indicated he had feelings with her, and then jumped into bed with some other woman...that would really piss me off. I couldn't handle. It would be okay if feelings weren't developed yet, but to start believing someone and falling for them and finding them in some other woman's drawers, would really make me hit the rough.
byPeace and love,
Paula R.
Begining, Middle, or end I can't stand (well hopefully not in the end you never know) - my inner BFF comes out and say's "how could you?!" So I'm totally with you regarding the green eyed monster. Erotic romance bks completely seperate story b/c well anything goes :)
byNope - you aren't alone, that would be a real squick thing for me to read too
byLOL Sewicked!
byYUP, GEM living here too *grin*
Hmmm, I guess what it comes down too is whether or not the heroine is turned off on on by watching other people 'get busy'....'cause from the sound of it she wasn't feeling betrayed...
Normally this would bother me but I think I know what book your talking about. At first I had the same feelings as you but then I realized he didn't really do anything wrong and moved past it. The girl he was with was his consort, right?
byI think I'd have a problem with it too. I mean, they weren't involved, so the guy could do as he wished, but the logical response and the emotional response are two separate things, and my emotional response, if I were her, would be jealousy.
byBy the way, you're tagged.
Agree completely. Voyeurism is one thing if you're watching with your guy, but actually watching your guy with someone else? Squick factor very high there.
byIDK in the case you stated I don't think it would bother me - probably because she'd rejected his advances and they weren't feelings involved. Well, KNOWN feelings. I think there are ways of doing this and it depends on how the author presents it.
byIn real life if I had feelings for the man it would make me crazy - whether he reciprocated or not.