I realize with a lot of stuff I've been talking about lately (mostly on Twitter), some of those who may have known me for longer are wondering..."what the hell?" Well, rest assured, I am still me, and most likely always will be. I'm still reserved, and quiet. Still love reading hot books, loud music, driving fast, vanilla iced coffee, Gerard Butler, taking naps, Supernatural, warm summer nights, the annual Get-Together, and blue-collar guys. I still hate onions, idiot drivers, Nascar on US99, (I'd rather watch racing than listen to it, dammit!), being cold, shopping (except online), flying (only like the destinations) and Monday mornings. Not much as changed.
But I'm definitely going through some stuff now that scares me a little too, but not in a bad way. Truly. I'm just not sitting at home wondering why my life is not what I want it to be, and by that I mean I'm not staying on the sidelines. I'm careful, not stupid, and I haven't even really "done" anything, but my life is in a rut, and I need to find a way to get out of it. So it's about a whole lot of stuff: work, friends, family, all of it. Nothing bad, just something different. So, for example, say, when my pals from the Ge-Together see me next summer, I won't be any different than I was before. And I wanted to say that not because I'm doing anything wrong, but because you guys have been there with me a damn long time, and if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have such special people in my life. I wouldn't have taken that first drive to Cincy 6, 7 years ago and met so many of my online friends. That is a very valuable and important part of who I am. But I also need to open up more, discover things, and it's a little scary in the sense that I'm doing it on my own, but I guess that's how you learn, right?
Thank you for being here, for seeing me through my little dramas *g*, and I will continue to post about books and movies and all the other things I do love so much. You guys rock :)
Labels: ramblings
posted by Stacy~ at 11/30/2010 07:22:00 AM
Stacy, I think at some point every one goes through an off stage. Mine was definitely at the end of last year/beginning of this year. I was unsure about the career path I chose, unsure about a lot of things.
byBut, my great-grandmother always said that things happen for a reason, and in the end, they always turn out right. She was a very wise lady ;)
Everyone is allowed to go through stages in their lives - to grow and change, even though it doesn't change who you are fundamentally. You are a grown woman, and we don't always need to fit into others' expectations of us. That being said, it sounds like your friends are concerned about you, and it's always wonderful to have good friends.
byJust because it's all a necessary part of life, these changes and needing new experiences, it doesn't make it any less scary. Just the fact that you've recognized that it's time for you to look at your life and evaluate what's there shows how very brave you are. You are one of the cutest people I've 'met' and I know you'll come out of all this a happier and more fulfilled woman.
byI think we all go through that from time to time, needing to find out who we are and ground ourselves again. It's natural, and I wish you luck with it.
byOh, and it's nice to see someone else who hates onions. They're so awful, but some people act like I'm a horrible sinner because I don't like them.
I agree with the ladies here. It's normal to take stock & go through a little intropsection. Never hurts. I have the same life every day but some days I wake up & feel so lucky. Other days I ask, "is that all there is"? LOL. I just shrug it off until I feel lucky again. I still like you even though you hate onions. I love sweet Vidalia onions but I promise not to breath on you.
byAs one of your evil influences... I want to say YEA for you! It's good to self-examine and explore. I'm so happy that I've made friends with "both" sides of Stacy! *HUGS*
bySo true Barbara. I think I'm veering away from being so personally conservative, and that makes people wonder. But it's all good :)
byLori, yes it is. Friends keep me grounded. I have one especially who is going through something similar, so it helps to navigate through these changes with someone who understands, and doesn't judge. I've always had a little of that "people pleaser", "I want everyone to like me" hangup. Working on that too LOL. (hugs)
Julie! *smooches* I adore you. Yes, the internet really helps, or I should say the wonderful people I've met online, like you, make a difference. My IRL friends might not get it either, so at least I have this place to turn to.
Caryn, thank you! I think it's also a littl scary to watch people you care about step outside their comfort zone and flail. But sometimes it's necessary. And I know, right? Onions - ick!
Mary, you are so sweet. I know that right now, despite the stress and uncertainty, I feel a deep sense of peace. I wasn't aware that I would, but now I feel glad I was proactive. And I still like you, even if you do like onions LO.
Jen, my PIC! Thank you for being there through so much of it. You are a wonderful and special person, and I love you :)
I'm glad you are still you. :)
byOnly normal to go through different stages and changes. I'm here if you need anything at all!
(((Stacy)))
byI'm not on Twitter, so I'm not exactly sure what you are referring to. However, introspection is important. People grow and change, whether by circumstance or by choice. It's hard work, but...as someone said to me yesterday - you only have now, today. And it's important to be happy.
I wish you all the best on your journey. I'm finding my journey very hard, but...I want to give myself the chance to be happy. And when I feel it's too late I remind myself it's never too late :)
*hugs*
Oh, and you'll know your friends because they will accept you for who you are, not for who you pretend to be. And I mean that in the nicest possible way - I'm a people pleaser too...and it's so hard to break that habit.
Love you!
byIt is good to explore new things on occasion. It helps us grow and discover new things about ourselves or reaffirm other things about ourselves.
I thought my "finding myself" phase would end after my teens. Yeah, right. One thing I have learned to accept is that I'm never going to have it all, and certainly not at the same time.
byWe all evolve over time. Taking stock every once in a while is a good thing. If you feel you've been stuck in a rut, trying something new might help you get past it.
As long as you're taking care of yourself, you don't have to justify these changes to anyone.
Stacy, my mom always says there are two thing in life that we can't avoid. Death and change. Changes are a natural part of life. Some are small, some are big. They help to shape who we are. The important thing is how we react to change. Embrace this stage in your life. You will be stronger and have a clearer understanding of who you are.
by