Despite my pestering of her, Shiloh is always very good to me and I got this eARC of another of her amazing stories because she knows how to keep me happy. And it's absolutely no burden at all to review one of her books. It's definitely not a chore for me. It's actually lots of fun trying to find new and interesting ways to gush *g*

Drake's been in love with his best friend's wife for a long time, way back when they were married and Kyle was still alive, but his buddy is gone now, and it's all Drake can do to sit by and watch as Tania faces another anniversary of her husband's death. But she's missing Kyle, so how can Drake ever reveal what's in his heart to her?

Tanis is barely holding on by a thread, and each year it gets worse. She's not moving on, and the fear is just as great as it ever was. She needs to find a way to work through it, and she decides the best way is get back up on that proverbial horse and live out the fantasies she enjoyed so much before, with her husband. Fantasies that were taken away from her by a selfish, sick man who didn't understand the level of trust and respect and affection between her and Kyle, someone who tried to steal her spirit. Facing herself scares her, because she's so afraid something is irrevocably lost. But she needs to push herself anyway. And who better than the one man, other than her husband, who would be there for her and see her through and not judge?

First off, huge shout-out to Shiloh for writing about such a sensitive, taboo subject. A woman's sexuality is a complex and beautiful thing, and sometimes that means desiring and indulging in fantasies that others might, and will, find traumatic and possibly even disgusting. I have never had a problem with this particular fantasy, I don't have any personal experience with rape or being attacked, but I don't take lightly those who have. Some people will not understand why anyone would want to act out being forced to have sex. Why being sexually dominated in such a forceful manner would be acceptable. But it is, as long as it happens between consenting adults, pretty much anything is acceptable. So that is why I give Shiloh a whole lot of credit for "going there".

Shiloh doesn't really go into why Tania is into this fantasy, but you know what? I don't think she has to because there doesn't necessarily need to be a reason other than that it turns her on. A lot of us want to put pretty labels on why things are the way they are. Sometimes they just ARE. Tania acts out her forbidden, kinky fantasies of being forced with her loving and understanding husband. It's a wonderfully healthy, open, satisfying relationship, one that her husband enjoys just as much as Tania does. But then he dies, and she's attacked, and everything she knew changed in a really bad way. She needs to find a way back to herself.

She finds that way with her friend Drake, a sexy, caring, dependable man who just happened to be her husband's best friend. She knows in her soul Drake would never hurt her, that he knows about her fantasies and isn't disgusted with her because of it. She needs to feel that way again. So she turns to Drake.

A man to die for. One of the things I loved about him is that he talks to Tania. A lot. They discuss going forward, they talk about what is going to happen and how it should happen. Drake doesn't close his eyes and hope he doesn't scare her. He asks her questions about what works for her, what doesn't. He takes his time, but pushes while gaging her responses, and in doing so, he experiences the pleasure himself as he watche her blossom under his touch, become bolder, more sure of herself again. The woman he loves takes back her sexuality. And he got her there out of love, and patience, and a firm hand. It makes them stronger. And Tania discovers that she can love again. That there is a man who will cherish all of her. The dark and the light. The sassy and the scared. The complete woman she is. And who could ask for more than that.

So I encourage you all to read it. This wasn't reading outside my comfort zone because I didn't have a problem with this fantasy. I loved this storyline. But others will have a more difficult time. I'm really relishing this opportunity read stories that push our buttons, that scare us and challenge us and make us think. Not that there is anything wrong with good, old-fashioned sex and romance, because I need that too. But to step away and put your foot out on that ledge, to flounder a little and feel shaky and terrified and angry, well, it can be cathartic. It can help you learn more about yourself. We need to learn more about ourselves. Never say never until you know for absolute certainty.

And if nothing else, Shiloh tells a wonderfully hot and delicious story that has you hooked from page one. She's one of the few that I will read an eARC for (yeah, I know, get an eReader!) and it is well worth it to me. And writing this review has been effortless and FUN, and educational. I feel like I accomplished something good by putting these words on paper. I would love to do it again *g*

Labels: reviews, Shiloh Walker