Stacy's Place on Earth
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Saturday, May 02, 2009:
On my mind....

Well, I think I'm finally over this weird funk that's been affecting me the past several days. Wow, I'm not one to be depressed or mopey, so this bizarre mood I've been in totally threw me for a loop. The thing is, I can't figure out what was the cause of it. Though I will say it gave me a whole new appreciation for people who battle depression on a regular basis. I cannot imagine what they must go through. It can definitely take you to some dark places, ones I've never been to before, which is pretty scary. However I'm past it now, so I'm not going to dwell on it. I'm just glad it's over. Thank you to everyone who offered their kind thoughts. They meant a lot. You guys are the best :)


Last night I met a friend for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and then we went to see the Beyonce movie "Obsessed". I admit I wasn't expecting much but I really liked it. Ali Larter definitely has the handle on playing a pyscho bitch, and Beyonce easily managed to hold her own, despite my initial reservations about her. I'd not seen her acting before, so this was a surprising treat. And I loved that her character didn't just sit back and take it. Beyonce got mega applause from moviegoers, let me tell ya. And despite the lackluster reviews, I found this movie to be entertaining and wicked fun. Ali Larter is bad, bad, bad, though thank God not Fatal Attraction bad, and I bet she had fun playing this role.

And, I cannot neglect to mention Idris Elba. Wow. I don't recall seeing him before, though he's been in several movies (American Gangster, which I saw) and I guess he made an appearance on The Office, which I periodically watch. Anyway, I think he did an amazing job of portraying a successful business man who, though happily married with a son, isn't immune to the attractiveness of other women. At times his character pushed the limits, almost crossing a line, but always reeling himself in just in time. Good thing Beyonce's character was a strong woman, because he needed someone like that. Idris definitely has charisma, and I definitely think he's gorgeous, so I'll be looking for him in other movies. I might have to re-watch American Gangster to identify his character this time. Where the heck was I when he was onscene???


Another issue that I've been thinking a whole lot about this week concerns "nice vs. not nice" blogs. I've debated saying anything because I really have nothing to add to the topic, other than to just express my personal feelings on the whole matter. And also because I do happen to consider myself a friend of one of the bloggers in question. I guess I'm taking this opportunity to make myself feel better, and as a typical Libra (yeah I'm blaming my zodiac sign cuz that's such a mature thing to do), I hate taking sides. Then after much internal dialogue, I came to the conclusion that I don't need to take sides. This is not a war, or even a baseball game between the Cubs and the White Sox. (I don't have a favorite team here either). How silly of me to think otherwise.

Bottom line is, when it comes right down to it, you support your friends, even when they make partial or even complete asses of themselves. I can't say that I agree with everything that was said recently by one of the bloggers in question, because I definitely do not. In fact I was rather riled up by a portion of her speech, however that's another story not worth getting into, other than to say I am tired of this issue being dragged up yet again. Let it die in peace. And no, this is not a case of "can't we all just get along?" because I think that's a totally unrealistic expectation. I don't like everybody, so why should anyone else? I make no apologies for who/what I do like either. Which is why I don't believe I need to make a choice between visiting her blog or the blogs of other, so-called "not nice" administrators.

AND I completely subscribe to the opinion that if you are truly genuine, nice, intelligent, funny, cool, charming, or whatever, you don't have to tell people that you are. It shines through without having to announce it to the world. Just sayin'.

I do visit these so-called "not nice" blogs, not everyday, but frequently. I rarely post, though not because I'm afraid to comment, but more because most of them are a lot smarter and way more eloquent than I am, and have visitors that are just as smart, funny and perceptive as they are and tend to say it much better than I. Several of my RL blogger friends already know this about me. I'm not stupid, I'm just not very good at expressing myself.

So when I do visit these "not nice" blogs, I have varying opinions on the subject matter. Sometimes I don't agree, and other times I find the blog topics unnecessary or not to be my interest. Then there are even other times I'll read a really thought-provoking, relevant post that has me questioning my current opinions, or wanting to learn more about a topic they're discussing. In the interest of full disclosure and yes, fairness, I have to come clean and admit I've been critical of these blogs in the past, even more recently, and I haven't always liked the direction that some of the posts have gone, but when I really think about it, I recognize that some of these bloggers have put the romance community on the map, and shed a rather refreshing, fiesty, and yes, at times, a positive light on the readers and writers in this industry. Forging a path is not necessarily done with sweetness and light.

But I gotta say that the so-called "nice" blogs have their purpose as well. They can be fun, light-hearted, positive, embracing and close-knit. Most of the time you're not going to run across regular intellectual discussions about the state of the romance industry, but rather posts about celebrating the shiny, happy romance community. Or seeing us acting like naughty school girls when we discuss various sexual positions we've read about in our favorite books. Rather juvenile behavior, but so what? Nothing wrong with being silly. With the economy, swine flu, horrible conditions of the roads and all those potholes, fear of losing jobs and the sad state of school systems, you need to find somewhere to put aside all those day-to-day worries. It's not always serious and mature, but you know, not everyone feels comfortable discussing sex or love with their RL friends, especially if said friends don't read romance. We celebrate our sexuality and enjoy the freedom to talk about it with like-minded individuals. I admit I was a bit amused to read some comments at one of the nice blogs, saying how creepy our little group was. Yeah, we're complete freaks. And I am only speaking for myself here, but I don't take it too seriously. After all, blogging is only a small part of what I do during the day, and it's not even everyday. And I visit a variety of blogs - readers, writers, group, industry, etc. They all give me something of what I need, but not one of them gives me everything. It's why I blog-hop, which takes up maybe 15-20% of my day. Well, unless it's really slow at work.

So I am not choosing sides, and yeah I am selfish and I want it all. I'm not one of the popular kids and I never will be, but I do like to think I can mingle with both sides freely, and enjoy the benefits I get out of it. If anyone actually reads this, they will probably think I'm riding the fence, and that's fine. I am. I see no real purpose for me not to. I've never seen the world in black and white, but lots of gray, soft, muted, harsh, ugly. Some days I like the gentler tones, and others a stark, unforgiving one works best.

So in summary, I'm totally taking the easy way out here and not going on the attack. I don't feel compelled to draw out my poisonous sword for this particular battle. Now if you were to insult cover model Nathan Kamp, then I might have to get nasty *g*


And now I think I'm going to go watch the first season of Carnivale (another selection from my blogger recommendation list). Enjoy the rest of your weekend :)

What's on your mind?



  1. Hi Stacy!

    I am pleased to hear you are feeling better. Sorry, the doldrums can be, well bleak and dark as you indicated. However, you have a wonderful attitude with respect to it being behind you. :)

    As to the issue regarding you not being articulate etc. I have to disagree. I love visiting your blog because you always have worthwhile things to say and articulate your thoughts extremely well. Far better than I do for sure.

    As to the blog issue, I'm afraid I am completely out of the loop on that one. Blogging is still very new for me and I guess I would prefer a "neutral" stance as it were. As you say, there is too much grief in the world to get ugly regarding blogging.

    Well worded post Stacy. :)

    You take care and enjoy the rest of your weekend.

    Warm Regards

  2. Hey, Stacy! I've been in a funk myself lately. I blame lack of sleep. But I will say that my blogger buddies always find a way to make me laugh :) I'm glad you're feeling better.

    You claim you are not articulate? HA! I get nervous commenting on your blog! How many times did I spell things wrong? Or heck, how man time did I type so fast I called you Tracy?! Oy...for a while I was like, let me just back away for a bit before she thinks I'm a total idiot, lol.

    You are so well worded and have such a wonderful way of expressing how you feel. Whether it be about books or life in general. So don't ever think that!

    About the blog issue. I have read what happened, so I do know what you are talking about. I agree with you about not taking sides. You shouldn't have to, especially since you enjoy visiting all of the blogs :)

    Also, I want to see that new Ali Ali Larter movie! I saw the coming attraction and it looked good!

  3. See?! I spelled words wrong and wrote Ali twice! Oy...*backing away* LOL!

  4. I'm so glad you're feeling better Stacy! And I think everyone has up and down periods...I don't think we can be up all the time...for some reason the Stepford Wives springs to mind!

    I have absolutely no idea what is going on in the blogging world, but I just wanted to say - I think you expressed youself very well in that post - you express yourself well in all your posts! And your character shines through, which makes all the difference :)

  5. Adding to the chorus: whatever makes you think you are not articulate? Baseless.

    You are very articulate indeed, Stacy, and further, you are also very well liked.

    I'm glad to hear you are over the funk (((Stacy)))

  6. That was a great post, Stacy. Glad your "funk" has passed. I know all about being in a mood. These last few months have been crazy, and with a new issue my husband and I have been talking about, looks like that "funk" of mine is going to be staying around a bit longer.

  7. Hey Lea, thank you. It was so weird to feel so sad without knowing why. It's such a relief to be back to "normal" LOL. And wow, thanx for your kind words. I guess I come across as more articulate in blogland because I can "fix" what I say. Writing is a little easier for me. As for the blog issue, ignorance is bliss. I am getting to the point where most times I really don't want to know. This time I'm rather indirectly involved, which is why I felt compelled to bring it up. I don't want to fan any flames.

    Barbara, I absolute LOVE your blog, and it's a wonderful place to escape and have fun. Definitely one of my daily required visits. You make me laugh - I get called Tracy in RL all the time, so I hardly even notice it, except for those days I'm PMSing and it ticks me off LOL. I always find you have something encouraging and/or constructive to say. Believe me, your comments are not wasted, but very much appreciated :) And go see the movie - it's good, frothy fun. Maybe not as entertaining as Hannah Montana though *g*

    Orannia, you're a darling, and I value your friendship. Thank you for stopping by - you always know how to make me fee better, and I'm so glad I know you. This is definitely one of the perks of blogland - meeting friends 1/2 a world away and finding something in common to bond over. I hope you know how awesome you are!

    AL, as someone whose blog posts I read, your encouraging words mean a lot. You always come across as a no-nonsense, passionate, strong-minded person, and I have a lot of respect for you. And have I told you how much I love your avatar? I am a huge Hayworth fan.

    {{{Amy}}} I'm sorry you're going through something difficult right now, and that it's not going to be immediately resolved. I'll be thinking of you and sending lots of positive thoughts. Please feel free to vent anytime. You are loved here in blogland.

  8. Stacy I’m glad that you’re feeling better. I know what those funks can feel like.

    I think that you express yourself beautifully. And I love to read your posts. I really enjoyed this post. I like how you worded it in a way that I never could. Yes there were things that I didn’t agree with but it doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop visiting and spending time with people I enjoy. We all have different opinions and sometimes we make mistakes, but to me that’s to be human. I haven’t been online that much so I’m not sure how big it blew up. But this too is just another thing that will pass. It’s amazing how short some peoples memories can be and with some how long. But that’s part of what makes us who we are. And now that I’ve rambled, I think I’ll let it go :o)

    And I just have to say how sweet you are how glad I am that I've gotten to know you.

  9. a typical Libra, I hate taking sides.I like that excuse. I think I'll use it, too. I agree with you completely. I tend to try to avoid all that snark, and like you, although I read those blogs, more often than not, I don't comment at all. Maybe I just want people to like me, who knows, LOL. At this point in my life, who really cares, either? Life's too short to be nasty all the time.

    And I agree with everyone else. You express yourself beautifully. I love reading your blog - for reviews, movies, and just what's going on everyday.

    NOT that I want to do the oneupsmanship thing, but try sharing a blog with JenniferB. Holy cow. Talk about feeling intimidated. The woman writes reviews like pieces of literature. Good thing she's such a great friend, or I'd have to hate her guts.

  10. Thank you, Stacy, please know it is mutual *hug*

  11. I'm a Libra, too. I know all about the pressure we put ourselves under in order to keep the world a balanced place. Phew! Talk about stress! ;)

    I'm not exactly sure of the blog issue you are addressing in your post, but I can imagine it is along similar lines of other past blog dramas in romanceland that pop up every month or so.

    Unfortunately, it's so incredibly easy for online commentary to be misinterpreted whether it is what someone says in a post or in a comment. I generally avoid writing or commenting on topics that are controversial, too personal, or confrontational. I don't want my comments to be misconstrued and in turn set myself up for insult or attack. I don't even want to read the drama other people start and or perpetuate... unless someone I know and care about is under attack, of course. Then I'll pull out my poisonous sword and hope I know how to use it being a Libra and all.

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