Paperback: 320 pages
Publisher: Aphrodisia (October 1, 2007)
Publisher: Aphrodisia (October 1, 2007)
SEX ON THE BEACH NEVER TASTED SOOO GOOD!
Living on her own private Caribbean island home would be bliss for romance writer Cat Gamble...if she had some studly hunk to share it with. All work and no foreplay make Cat a very dull girl! So she puts an ad on the Internet inviting some good-looking boy-toys to come play. When Captain Jack Spankevopoulos offers to kidnap her and make her an exotic love slave on his "Captive Fantasy", she's hot for it - and for him.
But who knew she would be captured by the wrong pirates?
Now Cat is the sex slave of two real pirates who are holding her for random...and their own personal sexual pleasure. Instead of being scared, Cat is aroused by the sensual orgy surrounding her. Now free to indulge in every secret fantasy she's ever had, Cat wonders whether she wants to escape - or surrender to her own erotic desires...
I was in the mood for a sexy and naughty pirate adventure when I bought this book, something hot and wicked. I mean, look at the cover? Doesn't it look like a completely hot erotic romance? What I got instead was a campy, over-the-top silly story that, while not horrible, was not what I was in the mood for, at all.
When we first meet Cat, she is a down-on-her-luck writer struggling with writer's block and the aftermath of a lying, secretive spouse who took his own life. Relying on the generosity of friends, she's struggling to pay the debts left over from her deceased husband and trying to find inspiration to write a hot pirate romance. In mere moments, Cat's life is about to change when the lottery ticket she has ends up being the winner....of $258 millions dollars! (If only life were that easy).
Determined to avoid her husband's creditors and live the life of luxury, Cat, who's already explored websites such as escape artists dot com and other similar places that teach her all she needs to know about off-shore accounts and untraceable cellphones, decides to buy an island and live out a life of decadent pleasure and comfort. Finding an island whose previous owner mysteriously disappeared two years ago, Cat travels down to the Caribbean and meets Ramon and Leilani, a married couple of the island who worked for the previous owner and who sense she would be perfect as the current one.
Quickly acclimating herself to island life, Cat nevertheless realizes that she's lonely. And horny. So she decides to find adventure on the high seas, and it comes to her in the form of Captain Jack Spank, a sea captain who specializes in the fantasy of "kidnapping" willing women to experience a week of delightful pleasures and sinful nights. This sounds just like her kind of wild fun. Setting the stage and lounging on the beach (with her laptop and duffel bag in tow), Cat waits to be kidnapped.
And she is. Only not by Captain Jack and his crew, but by real pirates who intend to use her for their pleasure and then sell her to the highest bidder. Arthur Wong and his two sons, Thomas and Charlie, are all in on the plan, having an island of their own from which there is no escape. Will Cat resist or succumb to their demands in order to save her own life?
Sigh. I really hate not liking a book, and having to give it a bad rating. But there are no words to express my extreme disappointment in this book. I'm sure it was a fine story if I would have been prepared for a cheesy farce paying homage to "The Pirates of the Caribbean" movies, but since this was a book from the Aphrodisia line, I was expecting hot, forbidden encounters, sexy pirates and wild decadent pleasures between the hero and heroine that would eventually lead to them falling in love.
What I got instead was a silly heroine who didn't have the brains to be scared or resistant when in serious danger, and who submits to her captors' demands almost entirely without a qualm. I had a problem with this and didn't find these encounters to be anything but demeaning to the heroine, especially when her captors went as far as to tape her having sex and putting it on the Internet! Ugh. And the campy dialogue had me cringing in embarrassment. The hero, who doesn't really factor much into the story until the last 1/4 of the book, was rather lame and unimpressive. I felt like this was a Caribbean version of Monty Python or some such silliness. It wasn't hot, or sexy, or romantic, or even very interesting. And the way all the loose ends of the story were so neatly tied up had me rolling my eyes at the absurdity of it all.
Though it wasn't a DNF, I can't think of a reason to keep it. If you like "ho ho ho and a bottle of rum" type romances with campy humor, this might work for you. Sadly, it didn't for me. I feel bad about that too, but it just wasn't my thing.
Rating: ** out of *****
Do you ever feel badly about not liking a book?